ConnStance heads to the New York Auto Show!

Hello little piglets – we here at ConnStance are hittin’ up the New York Auto Show tomorrow. Also booze. There will be booze. In our faces. Courtesy of the Bierhaus. Gonna be great. But, lets talk about cars…since this is a car club and not a beer club. (It should be both for the record.)

Let’s talk about the world premieres of production cars that we will be seeing with our eye balls and that I (Ryan) am most excited about. The following opinions are based on me and myself – you’re allowed to have opinions but just know they are less right than these opinions.

First the  Chevrolet Camaro(facelift) , Camaro Z/28. It looks as though it’s staring through your soul. It has “500 hp 7.0-liter V8 borrowed from the Chevy Corvette Z06, and features a host of bodywork and weight trimming modifications that help turn it into what Chevy says is the best track-performing Camaro ever built”

The Jaguar XKR-S GT – I feel like if Batman wasn’t busy sitting at the same cafe every day waiting for his butler to show up he would drive one of these. In black of course. This 175k vehicle looks mean and drives mean…sort of. Jag is talking carbon fiber and air splitters with this thing and barely mentioning that it’s 3.9 seconds to 60.

The Porsche 911 GT3. 3.8 liter flat 6. 435hp. 8400rpm red line. Other cool facts. This car will get you pulled over faster than being a minority in a neighborhood with prejudiced police officers and will look great parked at the country club. Just don’t be mean to the service people there or they will key it without mercy.

The 2015 VW Golf. Apparently in Germany it’s cool to just skip around to the year that makes them feel good inside or they have a time machine, either way A WILD GOLF HAS APPEARED. 1.8 liter turbocharged 170hp and 184 pound feet of torque. Also pictured (red car) is the revised 2.0 liter GTI with 210hp and 258 lb-ft of torque. And don’t worry ladies and gents. It still has plaid seats. I know you were all very concerned.

The car I personally am most excited to see is the Subaru WRX Concept. The thing just looks nasty. This car just screams, “Yeah, pregnancies are going to happen in and around this vehicle.” We can only assume it will be awesome because the company is only hinting at performance currently which is irritating, but I still want to put my face on it, so it’s alright with me.

The Rolls-Royce Wraith. This thing has a V12 engine – 624 brake horsepower – and it goes 0 to 60 in 4.6 seconds which is fantastic considering it weighs as much as a herd of elephants. It isn’t confirmed, but it is also believed that if you run down a hooker in this car everything will turn out fine.

Other cars to check out: The Audi A3 Sportback E-Tron plug in hybrid – The 2014 Dodge Durango, which could be the biggest surprise this year – The 2014 Mercedes CLA45 AMG – I’m purposely not putting the new Jeep Grand Cherokee because it looks like a soccer mom vomited out a car – And of course the Lamborghini Avantador J (seen below) – And I’ll leave you with that so that you will have time to find a change of pants. Later Gators. 

Advertisements

One thought on “ConnStance heads to the New York Auto Show!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s